Watchismo Times: ugly

Showing posts with label ugly. Show all posts

Friday, December 7, 2007

Time To F#%K - Vintage 1970 Erotic Mystery Message Watches

Two vintage mystery dial watches from the late sixties/early seventies with secret dials revealing a not-so-subtle message from a pair of scantily clad tarts. Each of these mechanical erotic novelty watches had a unique feature of discs that obscure the dial most of the time but slowly unveil the other dastardly dirty time of day.

One for those with highly overactive libidos (hourly display) and the other with a more respectable twelve hour time frame. Although anyone who actually wore these was likely not getting any anyway.

This model featuring the twice daily message

Classy stuff!

One with a transparent disc with floating seconds arrow.

Around the same time, a digital version existed with the same message electronically requested in LED display. If anyone has seen the movie Autofocus about Bob Crane, Willem Dafoe shows his off at a bar to an unsuspecting lady. The filmmakers of Autofocus actually contacted me at the time of production seeking this watch but I could only provide some traditional vintage LED from Hamilton and Compuchron. They did use it for the scene but had to edit the message in.

See also;
1890 Naked Lady Pocket Watch
Debbie Does Switzerland - Antique Erotic Automaton

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Busybodies - Timberland HT2 Craterface, Invicta Blockhead, & A Watch Worth Owning

Two new unique inexpensive mult-functional, multi-dialed beasts. Above, the HT2 with plenty of junk in the trunk. An overdose on your wrist with analog-digital displays, four time zones, altimeter, thermometer, barometer, and an analog and digital compass. If you know someone that likes to get lost and be on time...$295-$345

via Technabob

This one? I don't know, it's just big, offensive and ugly. And generally, I appreciate an ugly watch from time to time, just not sure this is one of them. From Invicta

Personally, if we're going for multi-function overkill here, I'd much rather have this 1890 gunmetal world-time pocket watch. The front has a respectable dose of information with time, month, day, date, and moonphase but the back displays SEVEN time zones! And also understand, this is a mechanical timepiece, those are all moving parts gauging that much information in a little pod of blackened steel.

Granted it's about $9700 more than the other two watches above...but doesn't that seem like a deal now? From Bogoff->Link

Related posts;
Two-timing Bastards
Multi-function Monsters
Arnold & Son True North
Michael Jordi Double Deckers
Andy Warhol Five Time Zone Watch
World Time Watches
Compass/Thermometer Watches
Bullhead Chronographs
Math Watches
Dual LED-LCD Watches
History of Calculator LED Watches
James Bond Gadget Watch History
Anadigi (Analog-Digital) Watches

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Just when you thought you've seen everything...

I love being pleasantly surprised and appalled at the same time. It's a particular feeling that can't be summed up with one word, at least not in English. But the need for such a word has never been more appropriate than when laying my eyes on a watch owned by fellow collector Ruud in The Netherlands. He shared this recent purchase of a bizarre 1965 Jump Hour by Jean Chuard. I've found no information about this French brand but photos (or actions, whatever) speak louder than words...

The band is a solid cuff of transparent red plastic, the dial has a plastic guilloche face, the time is displayed in three windows (Heure, Minute, Date) of mechanical digital rotating dials.

The movement "capsule"

Related;
All Jump Hour posts

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The Rolling Eye Clocks of Oswald (circa 1927-1950)

Rolling eye clocks - first patented in 1926 by the J. Oswald Company of Germany with early models carved of wood and cast from metal after World War II. (Time shown above is 2:46)

The dials are represented as the eyes separating the hours on the left and minutes to the right. This collection of cross-eyed genies, skulls, monkeys, gnomes, owls, and dogs (LOTS of dogs) are an interesting cast of antique novelty clocks.

Thanks to Mike from Florida for sending me the Patent information here-->Link

Price ranges are approximately $200-$800 depending on condition and rarity. The authentic models were generally built with 8 day movements. Many cheaper knock-offs have appeared during the sixties and seventies. Likely inspiring the art of kitschy 'Big Eyes' painter Margaret & Walter Keane.

Monkey Clock

Rare Skull Clock

Genie Clock

And one of many crosseyed dogs

From an exhibit in 2005;

"The exact origin and age of these clocks is not easy to determine. We know that they came from Germany, but very few details are available in writing, due to the destruction of records during WWII. For this reason we have to rely on bits and pieces of information gleaned from many sources to come up with some sort of history of these novelty items.Most were made by the Oswald company in the Freiburg area which is in the Black Forest area of Germany. We say most, because we have three rolling eye clocks that we cannot, with certainty, attribute to Oswald. However, a personal friend has a wooden rolling eye clock marked "U.S. Patent 1926 Made in Germany." So, if patents were effective in those days, it is reasonable to assumme that Oswald may have made our "unmarked" ones as well."

Tattoo Wristwatch = Bad Idea

Oh no, no. NO.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Murano Watch Waste - Luxury Sink Drain Plug Clock

Ordinarily, I'd come up with a lot to say about this drain plug watch/clock from Italy's Murano House but really, it would just be a lot of my time down the drain...

MuranoHouse Watch Waste-->Link

via Trendir

Find other clocks here
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Wednesday, May 2, 2007

DELOREAN TIME - The DMC2 Wristwatch

Before John DeLorean's death in 2005, he tried to create a watch brand named 'DeLorean Time'. It was less about a timepiece and more about raising funds for his final unrealized sportscar, the DMC2. As the order form details above, a purchase of the $3495 wristwatch was an informal contract/certificate that would entitle you to the first DMC2 cars produced. Sadly, the watch design was pretty uninspired but appropriately made of metal injected/molded stainless steel just like his original iconic 1981 DeLorean DMC12. It was to be manufactured by Tech Time Ltd., a division of Seiko Epson. The watch was to be a fully automatic motion-activated quartz movement not requiring batteries. Powered by a titanium lithium capacitor - not to be confused with the 'Flux Capacitor' that made time travel possible in a DeLorean in the Back To The Future films. No watches appear to have been produced or delivered to customers.

Too bad he couldn't develop a wristwatch based on his claim to fame Pontiac GTO's. Especially the 1968 GTO with hood mounted tachometer-->Link

DeLorean talking about the watch concept-->Link

Sideview of DMC2 wristwatch design

Front view with hidden dial
Anyone with a photo of the dial? Email me!

DeLorean described the DMC2 concept as a GTO inspired high performance sportscar that young people could afford. A lightweight gull-wing car made of structural composites with no metal frame, a 250-275 horsepower engine and priced under $30,000.

Short videos of DeLorean Talking about his last project;
about the car concept-->Link
the car quality-->Link
the car industry-->Link
the Dell computer of the car business-->Link
the people involved-->Link
the watch-->Link

The original DMC12 and commercial-->Link

A very funny vintage commercial from Volkswagen
making fun of the DeLorean (and a fun watch prop)
-->Link

Sources;
DeLorean History Media
Jack Freedman's TimeZone Article
New York Times Obituary
Tamir DeLorean Site
DeLorean Pontiac GTO History
DeLorean Pontiac Firebird

Watchismo Times Car Related Posts-->Link

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Monday, April 30, 2007

Internal Watch

Designed by Leon Ransmeier for Vlaemsch ( ), this cocooned watch is encapsulated in leather rendering it non-functional as a timepiece. The designer explains, "The hidden watch transcends typical associations of status by isolating the emerging form rather than acting as a flashy signifier."

Although the identity of the encased watch is concealed, its contours suggest certain top-of-mind luxury cliches.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Horological Hallucinogens by Zadora

Dumbfounded and speechless. My first two reactions when first seeing these, um, er...Fancy wristwatches by Andreas Von Zadora Gerlof. An eccentric gem sculptor and metallurgist of everything from custom multi-million dollar chess sets for the Rothschild family to an upcoming exhibit of lifesize human skull gemstone sculptures.

But literally on hand now are these insane looking wristwatches. All one of a kind and priced at $150,000 each - also available for custom request if a pearl-swallowing snake or king fly isn't your cup of tea. Personally, I'd like to commission a bejeweled vomiting clown watch for my own personal reasons...

All the watches have drum-style sideviewing (display is on side of watchcase rotating with Roman numerals for approximate time) - semi-similar to Svend Andersen's Breguet inspired La Montre a Tact collection. The comparison ends there.

Baby turtles, gorging snakes and pirate skulls, oh my! (Enlarge)

Zadora Watches --> Link

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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Vintage Transistor Wrist Radios - Dick Tracy Wannabes

After my recent post on vintage watches for kids and another about the Sinclair FM Radio Watch, I had to feature a visual history of transistor radio watches. The invention of transistor radios in the fifties allowed radios to be much smaller than ever before, using much less power and eventually finding there way inside every imaginable portable product through the seventies. So needless to say, I'm showcasing the absurd world of novelty wrist-radios and radio-watches...

As much as people wanted two-way technology or walkie-talkie style of the famous Dick Tracy gadget, most got big bulky AM receiving behemoths like these.